Did you know your belly button is off center?

Brain: Hey.

Me: What now?

Brain: You should take a look at this?

Me: Look at what?

Brain: Look down at our belly button.

Me: What about it? It’s a belly button.

Brain: Yeah, but do you notice anything interesting about it?

Me: Not really. Looks like it always has. What is wrong with it?

Brain: It’s off center.

Me: Of for Pete’s sake–

Brain: Seriously! Look at it! Our belly button is just a little bit off center, towards our left side.

Me: So?

Brain: So?! This is a big deal!  How have we not noticed this before? Hell, I cannot unsee it anymore! We cannot let anyone else see this. They will consider us a freak!

Me: No one will care.

Brain: Yes they will! They will too care! Just like our misshapen eyes and our two different ear lobes!

Me: …

Brain: Really. I do not understangd how this is not as big of a deal to you as it is to me. We should really fixate on this some more.

Me: How about we don’t? I have other things to do. Stop being an asshol, brain. Let me get back to getting ready.

Brain: But seriously…

Me: Shut up.